Nerd Poseurs

I spent a good portion of my youth either in denial or naïveté, whichever suits you. Growing up in suburban Topeka in the 90's, when shit was going down but everyone just talked about Fred God Damned Phelps, I found myself in the midst of a mass of mysterious mixed up misfits. During this spell, I was awkward as hell, burst out of my shell, and came to understand that not buying the right brand would lead to untold reprimand, but only on certain social stands. I was a nerd. A nerd, sirs and ladies, of the caliber of Mercedes. The nerdiest nerd ever you have heard. Among the few, the proud. The last of the Topekans.

One of those Topekans passed away last week. But we'll get to that later.

So now I'm 37. I'm running across a dilemma. There are apparently people who are now among us posing as nerds. Please be advised, this is unfortunately not a test. Nerd imposters are out there. Hell, you might be one of 'em. But I'll tell you one thing. I sure as hell am not.

An imposter, I mean. I am not an imposter. I am a nerd of the highest order, and I embrace it fully. I'm sure that anyone reading this should know that this guy is a nerd, with capital letters. See, that's a nerd joke, because it's in print. Not capitalized, mind you, but just identified that, when reading, you should capitalize the letters. Total nerd.

So when did nerd become hipster? 'Cause it happened some time. Now you got weird guys who appear intelligent because they got skinny jeans, long beards, and white rimmed sunglasses. Sounds like typical nerd fashion gear, to me. It's like the social elite have honed in on the nerd's ability to know shit about shit that most people don't know. They aren't really nerds, they just dress that way for fashion. What the literal fuck.

So one of my friends, a total nerd, by the way, passed away last week. Stroke. 39. Little boy left behind. Just heart wrenching. Awful stuff.

But I think about him and his life and I know that his kid looks fucking exactly like him. Seeing the two of them in the same time and place as each other was a rare and precious gift that some of us got. That's pretty remarkable.

Speaking as a nerd gone punk (probably just a poser), I know what it's like to be hassled for absolutely no reason on earth. Sometimes it's exactly what you deserve, what you need. Just depends on who, how, why.

If you or a loved one have issues with nerdery or hipsterdom, please feel free to contact us in the comments section. Counselling is available, and you are not alone.